Daily Whackjob

Hey there, everyone! Johnny Camacho here.

Many of you - if not most of you - already know me. I’ve been a contributing member of the Virginia blogosphere via my personal blog since September of 2006, and have gotten to know many of my readers and fellow bloggers on a personal level since then. Of all the bloggers I’ve had the honor of meeting in person, few left as vivid an impression as the good people of Daily Whackjob.

That’s why it was such a thrill to be officially invited to blog among them here at the site. To be honest, though, I had to think hard about the decision, since there will be many who will see my addition to the blog as a means of filling the void left by the recent retirement of Whackette. Let me quell such confusion right now.

Megan (A.K.A. Whackette) was (and still is) widely recognized by Whackjob contributors and readers alike as the classy and sane one whose posts were typically substantive, level headed, and thoughtful. That’s a tough act to follow for a guy whose typical posts deal with things like politician haircuts, President Bush’s shoes, and Joe Biden fanboy-ism. Still, I decided to answer the call of duty by becoming a contributor to DWJ. Why? Well, for a number of reasons:

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I’m leaving the blog, at least as a contributor. I haven’t felt this awful since breaking up with with my boyfriend in high school.

[Everyone here wishes Whackette the best of luck and we'll all miss her.]

… this would be an “I’m done blogging. See ya.” post. But I’m not. So it isn’t. Well, not exactly.* Continue Reading »

“Mmmmmm! You look just like on of those Mexicans in at Walmart!”

Your turn. What’s the worst you ever heard –or used?

This week I have found it necessary to mail several packages.  Today I was told that due to 9-11 and homeland security it is required that a return address be on all packages.  Cause you know, if I was a terrorist and was mailing anthrax or something I would attach my real name and address to it. Win the War!

Worst part is, I can’t remember if I put my return address on the ones I mailed before today.

I am admired by a swacistan blogger.

“I admire anyone who puts aside their ambitions, their jobs, and their egos to commit to their families for years, sometimes decades. These parents should be commended, and my hat is off to them.” ~SWACgirl, 2/7/08, on homeschooling

What would you do?

I won an auction for three AIO* cloth diapers on ebay. They arrived quickly and looked really cute, but there was a big problem. My little guy completely soaks through them upon further inspection I discovered that there is no absorbent material in the front of two of them (and boys wet mostly in the front.) Also the velcro was put so close to the top of the diaper that it rubs his belly. I’m not at all happy.

I emailed the seller and she said that I could return them for a refund. That’s nice, but I would have paid shipping to my house and then back to her and would not even break even once my purchase price was refunded. We aren’t talking a lot of money, but it bothers me to loose money because of a defective product. I decided to keep the diapers and redo the padding and velcro and use them as fitted diapers* * rather than AIOs. Not what I bid on, but atleast I would have something.

So now, what kind of feed back is appropriate to leave? I didn’t get a usable product, but she did offer to accept a return.

*For everyone except zen, AIO stands for All In One. This means that you do not need to use a separate cover. It’s just like using a disposable only you wash it.

* *Means you have to use a cover over them to keep them from leaking.

We attended a church this morning that has been meeting at a local school.  As we walked out the building and past some benches I saw my five year old pluck a sticky blue wad of gum off a bench and roll it around in her fingers a few times. I caught her just as her hand was ascending toward her mouth. ICKY!
A few years ago her sister did something similar, only I didn’t discover it until I noticed her chewing on something. We were in Walmart. DOUBLE ICKY!

Anyone know where I can find a copy of one of those germ shows that appear on tv every now and then and really gross you out and make you afraid to touch anything?

Rick Gray is a good friend of mine who writes for the Village News down in Chesterfield. He will be on Paul Goldman’s radio show Monday from 11 am - 2 pm, so if you’re in the Richmond area spin the radio dial to 990 AM WLEE or click here to listen live.

A New Year’s Wish
By Rick Gray

Maybe I should have run this in the classified ads, but how many retired bankers scan the “Help Wanted” section?

You see, I’m looking for a banker – preferably one who’s comfortably retired, or about to be – who has a passionate commitment to fighting global climate change.

If I also found a corporate lawyer, CPA, or marketing genius, that would be a huge plus. But a banker will do very well for starters.

Because I’d like to start a bank – or perhaps an S&L – to do something practical about reducing carbon emissions and our national dependence on fossil fuels.

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For Christmas the girls received a Monopoly game from Uncle Whackjob.  It’s the old fashioned kind* that actually uses fake money and requires you to be able to add and subtract, make change and figure out what 10% of all your stuff equals.  As a parent I love this because not only does it sneak in a fun math lesson it also teaches a little about money management, and strategy.  Of course I confiscated the banker’s card right away.

As my oldest two were happily adding money and scheming ways to run each other out of business Bonnie was also busy trying to think of a way to propel the Mommy-Bonnie team on to victory the next time we played.

She came down stairs the next morning with a mysterious smile on her face.  “Mom,” she whispered. “I have a way for us to have more money next time we play Monopoly.”

“We all have to start with the same amount of money so the game will be fair.”

“No, I mean for latter in the game.” As she spoke she pulled open the pocket of her jeans to reveal a wadded up bunch of pastel colored bills.

She must take after Myron.

*The new version gives you a debit card like thing and a calculator that does all the math for you.

After a few weeks of vacation the huge peppermint flavored sugar stick has been confiscated in the name of education and my sanity –the little bit that is left.

Language Arts is pretty much same old same old: diagramming sentences, making sure things agree with each other and using punctuation correctly.(Speaking of punctuation, Mr. Chandler, did I use that colon correctly? I find them rather tricky. )

We are still stuck in the middle ages for history and I hope to have this completed by summer. We got sidetracked on the lessons about Charles Martel and Charlemagne before Christmas when the girls spontaneously decided to write reports. Time to move on.

I’m most excited about our science. We will be learning about elements and the periodic table. Hopefully, by summer we will be able to recite all the elements and know their abbreviations. I am truly amazed by this science book. I throughly enjoyed chemistry in highschool and did very well, but this book is very easy to understand and I learned some things I wish I had been taught back in school.

I do believe, that across the board, I have learned more teaching elementary school to my children than I ever did in 12* years of government school.

*13 counting kindergarten

Got a call today from Fieldworks, which made me excited until I realized I hadn’t applied to work there. They were calling about a job, but not a cool job - they were hiring folks to collect petition signatures to put Hillary Clinton on the primary ballot.

I declined. I’m not lifting one finger to help Clinton* - she has tons of money, she has Bill and she has Babs. She’s also not a progressive. Finally, even though I’m not a huge fan of our two party system, I definitely prefer two parties to a two family system. A Bush or a Clinton has been president or a heartbeat away for 28 years, longer than I have been alive. Change please!

However, I also find it interesting that the Clinton campaign is scrambling to gather enough signatures only 66 hours before the deadline (Friday at 5 p.m. in Richmond). I heard that there is at least one DNC staffer gathering signatures down Chesterfield way.

“Inevitable” be damned. I don’t care if Clinton did win the little man’s straw poll - not having petitions done at least a week ahead of deadline is sloppy campaigning. I for one hope she doesn’t get on the ballot (of course I hope she’s out of the race by February 12, but if wishes were horses we’d all have stables, right?) just to prove to Democrats across the country that if winning is all they care about, go with the candidate with the real Southern accent, not the fake one.

*I will not differentiate between the primary and general election. If progressives are going to be in charge we have to make sure non-progressives aren’t. Giving back the  reins of power to the Clintons would mean the end of “People Powered Howard” at the DNC and four more years in Iraq. I cannot and will not support that.

Because I am a blogger of high renown - or because my e-mail address is very similar to someone important’s - I often receive notices and reports from special events, like conference calls with Senator Webb or when someone comments on my posts. But an e-mail I received yesterday really made me laugh. Here’s a sample:

Thought you might be interested in the results of the Presidential Straw Poll (Democrats) taken at the Thank You Brunch hosted by Gerry Connolly and the 8th, 10th and 11th CDs on Saturday in Falls Church. Several hundred folks turned out for the event and participated in the surprise poll. Interesting results from mainstream Fairfax Dems.**

You might think I would be interested in Gerry Connolly’s little straw poll taken at his little “Look at Me I’m So Awesome” brunch. But I’m not.

In fact, not only am I endorsing Leslie Byrne for Congress, I would like to state that I really, really, really don’t care who “mainstream Fairfax Dems”think should be president because the only things that matter are a) whether there is still a race for the Democratic nomination by the time February 12 rolls around, b) whether Obama or Edwards is the most likely to beat Clinton, and c) who the writers at Daily Whackjob support.

Let’s face it, the most ideologically diverse blog in Virginia has a better claim to knowing the pulse of the Commonwealth than a couple hundred folks who like Gerry Connolly. So now, without further ado, the results of “The Only Straw Poll You Need to Worry About*”:

1. Al Gore, 29%

2. Dr. Ron Paul, 29% ***

3. Mike Gravel, 14%

4. Dennis Kucinich, 14%

5. Fred Thompson, 14%

Gore/Paul 2008: Because watching the SWACjobs’ heads explode will be hilarious.

* If you were a stuck-up Ivy League or UVA student/graduate you might say “The Only Straw Poll About Which You Need to Worry.” But that would just confirm that you don’t have any friends.

** The e-mail continued, “I enjoy your blog and postings (usually) and hope this is useful.” I guess the best way to know one has an edgy blog is when even the fans only offer qualified support.

*** No buses were involved in the tabulation of this straw poll.

People repeatedly calling early in the morning even after being asked to wait until after 9 and then freaking out on the answering machine because I don’t pick up (sorry, but I am not going to disturb a nursing baby just to answerer the phone especially when it can wait) was my newest pet peeve but it has been replaced.

Now it really ticks me off when someone shows up at my house looking for Myron equally early and without warning– while I’m still not dressed and am nursing the baby. And they let them selves in when I don’t answer the knock on the door. And when I yell that Myron is at the farm they can find him there they want to talk to me first and don’t take the hint that it is time to get their rear end out of my house when I tell them that I’m busy with the baby and not even dressed yet.

we need to learn Roman Numerals? I could think of two reasons — identify which Superbowl is being played and telling time on a fancy clock. I googled it and found one other reason–to be able to correctly identify which Rocky movie you actually wanted to watch.

This is one of those skills that I never really learned in school, having spent maybe one day of math class on it in twelve years of being educated by the government’s school system, and mostly had to figure it out on my own. I was (pleasantly?) surprised to find that my daughter’s math book devoted two whole chapters to this lost art. Now I can semi proficiently use Roman Numerals. I just have to wonder what I will use them for.

With 37% in the scariest costume contest. Second place goes to Giuliani with 14%.

Congratulations!

why we listen to anything scientists have to say.

NEWS FLASH!

Kids are smarter than apes. Babies are manuplitive. Animals can be bred to produce desired characteristics.

Do you feel more intelligent now?

That last one bothers me the most. I don’t want to start an evolution/creationism debate; we have been there and done that, and to be perfectly honest I am feeling much too distracted to get into it. All I want to do is vent about the dishonesty that is so prevalant on both sides.

Encouraging certain physical attributes to be passed along to an animal’s offspring and eliminating other attributes through selective breeding hardly disproves creation. It does show that micro-evolution can and does happen. Which is something that I doubt you will hear any creationist try to refute. Showing that a dog can be bred to possess the desired appearance doesn’t prove God didn’t make a dog to begin with any more than it proves that the dog evolved from a jellyfish millions–or is it billions?–of years ago. It is dishonest to say this disproves creationism.

Not that the evolutionists are the only ones to do this type of thing. Creationists are just as guilty. Take the symbiosis argument for example. That two creatures rely on each other for existence does not disprove evolution (it is possible that they evolved together) and prove that God is the only answer. To say that it does, is dishonest.

Bad weather + full moon + spicy meal + a week overdue = still no baby

If you have any tips about getting labor going I sure would love to hear them. I really want to avoid Castor oil and a pitocin drip at the hospital.  I plan on walking. A LOT.

I’m seven days away from my due date. It’s getting very hard not to waddle and kids always put things in such a tactful way. Bonnie was out shopping with me at the end of a long day last week and commented that I was walking funny.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, like a penguin.”

Then she broke into song, “Little legs cannot stride so you rock side to side, side to side, side to side to moooove…” (at the 1:17 mark on the video)

::sigh::

Nesting has set in and I’m not sure how I feel about that. Having an uncontrollable urge to clean my house is rather disturbing, but it is nice to have things unusually clean. Almost all my kitchen cabinets and drawers are looking very snazzy with new shelving paper. Best of all, I can find things now. The girls’ rooms are next.

But first some blog nesting.

Whackjob wins the smiley face and ice cream cone for correctly guessing that Benny Neal was the one who tried to block an opponent’s sign with his own. Your ice cream is on the way. Cook should win something too for knowing where this happened and that it wasn’t just a cute little yard sign but a whole trailer. You get a smiley face also for such a complete answer even if you weren’t first.

HRR has been declared the winner of the bad poetry contest by exceeding all the other entries in both the “failing to live up to classical form” category as well as the “content is really tedious” category as determined by the person I thought would have won the contest had he bother to enter. Hmmm… I promised a prize for this. Since I don’t know who you are, HRR, or where you live I cannot send you ice cream, so you get to be Blog Princess for a day.

Oh, and the spinning woman below… supposedly if you see her spinning in a clockwise direction you are more right brained and if she goes counterclockwise you are more left brained. Those of us who have figured out how to make her change direction probably had too much spare time on our hands or are just extra talented. I lean toward the latter explanation.

Clockwise or counter clockwise?