UPDATE: Congratulations to Daily Whackjob’s own Phil Chroniger, who guessed Delegate Bob Marshall would win 49% of the votes at today’s RPV convention (Marshall won 49.68%). Special mention goes to friend of the blog Scott Nolan, who was actually closer to Marshall’s total with his guess of 50.025%, but went over just slightly.
Thanks for playing.
The Family Research Council, a group founded by Dr. James Dobson to lobby for Dominionist principles tax-free, has endorsed Delegate “Sideshow Bob” Marshall for U.S. Senate.
As I said earlier today on a blog of ill repute, in Harrisonburg yesterday Mark Warner took the stage in light drizzle, spoke to the Almighty, and in a few minutes the clouds left and the sun came out and shone down upon him.
Apparently someone upstairs called Dr. Dobson on his special direct line from heaven and told him what happened, prompting the quick endorsement. This can only mean that the Republicans’ last hope of retaining divine support is to nominate Marshall.
Republicans must now choose between Jim Gilmore, who did not receive the FRC endorsement and must therefore be in league with Lucifer, or Marshall, who was prevented from meeting the pope last month in order to prevent two densely righteous people from colliding and instantly casting into damnation the entire population of Arlington, a known sanctuary city for unnatural and un-Biblical behaviors.
Will the FRC endorsement affect the GOP Senate nomination? Cast your vote for how many votes Bob Marshall will receive in our May Madness competition!
That’s right folks - in just as long as it takes for someone to let me know how many votes will be cast at the May 31 Virginia Republican Convention, we will have ourselves a little contest.
(Seriously, I looked all over and I couldn’t find an exact number of delegates. Gilmore has claimed to have enough to win, and I’ve seen the number 6,000 floated, but I couldn’t find anything authoritative.)
Please leave the number of delegates at the May 31 Virginia Republican Convention in the comments and you’ll get a karma boost. If you don’t believe in karma, this good deed will erase the damnation you will suffer due to that sexy thought you shouldn’t have had last week. If you didn’t have any sexy thoughts last week, check your pulse and use Google Image search, then leave the number of delegates to atone for what you did.
Andrew Sullivan on the Democratic race:
[...] what is striking in the exit polls is the polarization on three lines: gender, race and age. It was dead even with men; but a massive advantage for Clinton among women. The racial difference is obvious as well. But what really leaps out is age. Obama lost every cohort over 40; Clinton lost every cohort under 40. Race also affects the generations in turn: 67 percent of whites over 60 voted for Clinton - a massive 24 point advantage. Among the younger generation, there is much less racial polarization: under 30, whites split evenly. This is a fascinating result. It appears to me as the future struggling to overcome the past. On the process, I stick to my view that she needed double digits to have reason to stay in. Right now, she doesn’t have it. But she won’t leave. She will never leave. Ceding to someone younger is unthinkable to her. It’s a form of death for her.
But here’s what she does have: total shamelessness, and an absolute belief that she is the rightful nominee. Shamelessness: the appropriation of the message and even the words of her opponent; the portrayal of one of the most privileged and advantaged candidates in memory as an insurgent underdog; the eager embrace of the tactics - and message! - of the Rove right if it could help in any way; the picture of a candidate who saw a 20 - 25 point lead dissipate into single figures as a candidate for momentum. What sustains her is this deep, deep sense of entitlement and an absolute refusal to let the next generation take over. She will take this to the last day of the convention if necessary.
If Obama thinks he has a right to actually be nominated by the Clinton Democrats because he has won more votes, more states and more delegates, he is sadly mistaken. They will never let such a person win without a death struggle. And that is where the Democrats are now headed.
Do I think a Democrat has to win working-class votes to win a general election? Yes. Do I think America is more racist than sexist? Yes.
But am I 25 years old and convinced the baby boomers have to get off the stage before we can fix anything? Absolutely. Go Obama.
…she may actually be able to secure the nomination.
Dear Pennsylvania Voters,
Today is my birthday. A quarter-century ago I was born in Lancaster, so I’m a native of the Keystone State. And I’m asking you, those who stayed, for a big favor today.
Make it end.
Only an absolutely crushing defeat for HRC will end this campaign. You can make it happen. Vote for the tall skinny guy with the funny name. Make the craziness end.
However, if you absolutely have to vote for HRC, be sympathetic to the birthday boy and give me some beer money* to cope with the crushing realization that we’ll be fighting until Denver.
Thanks,
Adam
*It’s Paypal, so send it to politicl(dot)animal(at)gmail(dot)com. No guarantees, but the karma bonus should be enough to upgrade your next life from a polar bear to Paris Hilton’s chihuahua.**
** I prefer receding necklines to receding ice shelves. If you differ, you can still be a polar bear. The breaststroke will be larger part of your routine, but I’m sure you’ll manage.
April 14, 2008
Dear Senator Obama:
May I call you Barack? I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but you are following me on Twitter now, so perhaps we can have a friendly conversation. It won’t take long.
Barack, after 2004 there was one Democrat I wanted to be our next president and one I absolutely did not want to be our next president. You aren’t either of them. Al Gore is the first one and by now you’ve probably figured out who the other one is.
I looked at you, Bill Richardson, Mark Warner and John Edwards. Then Warner dropped out and I decided to back Edwards. But he and Richardson have dropped out too. So really, Barack, you’re my fifth choice at this point. But you’re not, you know, the other one.
Until Pennsylvania you were doing great - big wins in Virginia and Maryland and hanging close in states you were supposed to lose by huge margins. But something happened in the Keystone State, and now you and I, well, we have problems.
Who should he pick as a running mate?
His old buddy Fred Thompson? They do have history, and have worked well together in the past. Hell, part of what got McCain/Feingold passed was Thompson’s support (which also alienated the conservatives during the primaries).
How about bitter rival Mitt Romney? They may have slugged it out in the early states, with McCain getting the victories, but Romney is well liked by conservatives and has the business and financial brains to help revitalize the economy.
Mike Huckabee would rally religious/social conservatives. Hey, Joe Lieberman would REALLY make for a “cross-over” ticket.
However, I believe the best possible pick comes from Connecticut, but it ain’t Joe Lieberman…
There’s been no denying my (at times) harsh criticism of strict religious orthodoxy. For far too long the rhetoric of those that would call themselves “religious” has not matched their deeds. Wearing faith on ones sleeve has been more PR for politicians than a guiding set of principles for how they actually live and treat their fellow man. These trends have left me with a bad taste about organized religion in general. And I realize that I have been unfair in these judgments.
And yet, I personally still do not find adherence to a strict set of orthodoxy a prerequisite for being a “good” person. My path has meandered at times closer to, and farther from, a closeness to a higher spirit. Perhaps one day I will fully embrace a religion, but for now I do not, and the dude abides.
I’ve also struggled with accepting organized religion as a power structure in America. I think that I try to be accepting and tolerant of an individual’s choice of beliefs.* But I do not care for the characterization that largest religion in the world is a “victim” just because every last soul doesn’t adhere.
But enough about me and my shortcomings. The intention of this post is to express that my eyes have been opened to a new perspective. And at the core is reconciling how to once again become comfortable and confident in politicians that embrace their faith. Progressive politicians in particular have largely avoided discussion of their faith. And thus are defined by the right as Godless and immoral.
So I urge you to take the time to watch the following video speech by Barack Obama. True leadership is inspiring people to change and act. Obama very eloquently conveys a true sense of genuine leadership by taking a divisive issue head-on, and bringing people together.
(*I still think it’s absurd to attempt to make science answer questions of “why,” and religion to answer questions of “how” about life.)
Of the three Republicans left, I like Ron Paul the best. He is the one that most closely represents what I like:
But I really don’t think he has a snowball’s chance. (I can feel Mad Hatter making evil eyes at me.)
So that leaves Huckabee and McCain. The rantings against John McCain by certain SWACistan bloggers makes me want to vote for him, but I’m not going to let them dictate who I vote for. So I think Huckabee is my next best choice. I just wonder if he has any better of a chance than Paul.
During one of the three Sunday talk shows he appeared on, it was noted that his prospects for getting to that magic number were virtually impossible.
If this is the case and we really are stuck with McCain, maybe it would be best to vote for a Democrat. After all, if McCain it the nominee, the “Real Republicans” will flock to the Democratic candidate and there will be a donkey in the White House. This would be my only chance to help decide which Democrat we end up with.
What do you think? Does Huckabee stand a chance?* Is Hillary or Obama better than McCain? I am leaning toward Obama right now but only because he is a man and has out that lovely “yes, we can” video. And what happened to Romney’s delegates?
*Don’t tell me to vote Huck just because he isn’t McCain. I want real numbers to show that he could win. And don’t give me any of that If everyone votes for him, he will win stuff. I don’t want your fantasies; I want reality here.
UPDATE: I just heard that Huckabee will be at the Shenandoah Valley Regional Airport this afternoon. Maybe I’ll head on down and see if JMax ends up on the floor again.
John McCain is a “true conservative,President Bush says, although the likely Republican presidential nominee may have to work harder to convince other conservatives that he is one of their own.
McCain “is very strong on national defense,” Bush said in an interview taped for airing on “Fox News Sunday.” “He is tough fiscally. He believes the tax cuts ought to be permanent. He is pro-life. His principles are sound and solid as far as I’m concerned.”
But when asked about criticism of McCain by conservative commentators Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, the president said, “I think that if John is the nominee, he has got some convincing to do to convince people that he is a solid conservative and I’ll be glad to help him if he is the nominee.”
Update:
BILL CLINTON AT VIRGINIA TECH, SATURDAY 8:00PM!
Former President Bill Clinton will be speaking at War Memorial Gym Saturday night, February 9th at 8:00pm. Doors open at 7:45pm, first come first served. Please refrain from bringing bags or bulky items. All attendees could be subject to search.”
Update: Hillary Clinton will be speaking in a town-hall meeting at Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke on Sunday @ 4:30pm.
Barack Obama will be in Roanoke on Monday.
This is excellent. How hard is it to vote, I mean, seriously?
Seriously, this is so much better than living at realclearpolitics for another 5 hours:
Super Tuesday Twitter Map (by Google)
Those who know me understand that I am slightly obsessed about politics. National, local, state, world … whatever. If it involves government and elections (or the lack thereof), I’m paying attention. I don’t burrow into the numbers as much as some other unnamed know-it-alls, but I follow the digits pretty well.
That’s why it was so satisfying to see that I am ranked #8 in the 2008 Presidential Punditology Challenge.
We have had to not only predict winners, but the 1-2-3 rankings in each state’s caucus or primary so far, Democratic and Republican. We’ve also predicted who would drop out and we just completed our picks for Super Tuesday.
So if you’re looking for hot air, move along. If you’re looking for commentary worthy of national recognition, stick around.
P.S. Yes, the contest is predominantly among Democratic and progressive bloggers. (Here are the aggregated answers to all Super Tuesday questions.) Is there a Republican/conservative equivalent?
[Editors note by Whackjob: For those of you who may be concerned, Daily Whackjob will continue to provide its usual brand of crass humor and insults no matter how big of a horse Adam climbs up on. You should also know that Adam doesn't have nipples, he was born with udders.]
He can still win. Rick Gray explains how.
UPDATE: Apparently I wasn’t very clear and made it sound like Rick is supporting Edwards. He’s not - he thinks the Democrats should wait another four years.
A president whose administration funded and armed Saddam Hussien with full-knowledge that he was using chemical weapons. An administration that negotiated for hostages with and even sold arms to Iran. (talk about “flip-flopping” and playing both side of that fence). An administration that funded, trained and armed radical Muslim Mujahidin (aka Bin Laden). A president that withdrew U.S. military after terror attacks killed Marines in the middle east. A president that approached the Cold War by throwing money at it. (Thank goodness for Mikhail Gorbachev for ending that era).
If this were a Democratic president he would likely have been run out of town on rails. Perhaps even drawn and quartered on the national mall. And surely holding him up as next to God and an icon of party ideology would be loudly ridiculed as “cut-and-run,” anti-American, weak-kneed treason. And yet the Republican presidential candidates fight over who will follow the path set by Ronald Reagan. Insanity.
UPDATE: They sent it to everyone with a blog. Pride, fall, trombone. Exit.
This is astroturf: a slick, sophisticated campaign from a “diverse group of Americans.” I’m posting this e-mail as a lesson to younger bloggers who might not be able to tell the difference, and because I was flattered because they figured out I “write frequently about politics” on this blog, which means they paid enough attention to know the fart jokes and indecent pictures are from other people. They also sent it to the dailywhackjob.com address, which means they were targeting me as a writer, not me as a donor or activist.
Never misunderestimate the power of flattery.
For the record, I do not support Mike Bloomberg for president. I generally do not support (obscenely) rich people for political offices since I want to live in a republic, not an oligarchy. Also, I don’t support any New Yorkers running for president as a matter of principle, and even the chance of having more than one in the race in September is unacceptable.
The Draft Bloomberg Committee draftbloomberg.com
I spent lunch at the Mimslyn Inn, a fine establishment in Luray, with a little under 100 old Democrats, elected officials and community leaders, and one “unemployed former governor.”
Don’t smirk: that line got the biggest laugh.
Warner didn’t have a stump speech, he just re-introduced himself and took questions. The questions were tough - mental health, Iraq, I-81, immigration - and Warner gave wonky, long-winded answers that rarely demonstrated bold ideas (other than on energy). And neither Jim Gilmore nor Bob Marshall had anyone taping him.
Now I’m not saying Warner appeared to be a flaming liberal; in fact, other than his calls for energy independence, he never once sounded like a progressive. When he talked about climate change, he specifically said he was more like Arnold Schwarzenegger than Al Gore. Were he still running for president, he’d be to the right of Hillary and just to the left of McCain.
No, the reason Gilmore or Marshall should have been taping Warner is his indecisive answer on immigration. Continue Reading »
…So why are men allowed to cry, and not have it seen as just a political stunt? For those who are arguing that emotion is not presidential, or is a sign of weakness…history proves you wrong, for better or for worse.
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