Theocrats Back Marshall, Ignore Warner’s Weather Miracle
The Family Research Council, a group founded by Dr. James Dobson to lobby for Dominionist principles tax-free, has endorsed Delegate “Sideshow Bob” Marshall for U.S. Senate.
As I said earlier today on a blog of ill repute, in Harrisonburg yesterday Mark Warner took the stage in light drizzle, spoke to the Almighty, and in a few minutes the clouds left and the sun came out and shone down upon him.
Apparently someone upstairs called Dr. Dobson on his special direct line from heaven and told him what happened, prompting the quick endorsement. This can only mean that the Republicans’ last hope of retaining divine support is to nominate Marshall.
Republicans must now choose between Jim Gilmore, who did not receive the FRC endorsement and must therefore be in league with Lucifer, or Marshall, who was prevented from meeting the pope last month in order to prevent two densely righteous people from colliding and instantly casting into damnation the entire population of Arlington, a known sanctuary city for unnatural and un-Biblical behaviors.
Will the FRC endorsement affect the GOP Senate nomination? Cast your vote for how many votes Bob Marshall will receive in our May Madness competition!
